SOME IDEAS FOR A DRESS/ & SHOES FOR TIBBY

so, im never without thinking...

always looking for something for the next doll im on. this time, its, TIBBY.

now, tibby is a custom of my mother as a toddler.
and one of the things to make this kit resemble my mother more is seeking out an outfit similar to the one she wears in her picture.

now im not sure if, in fact the original dress was even blue, thats a painted over picture, thats how they colored images back then, gave them a wash of color.
but since i dont know any different, ill assume, for the sake of continuity, that i need a blue dress very simlair to this one.
doesnt have to be exact, but as close to it as possible, is what im seeking..

so, i was at walmart yesterday.
the day before easter, and had this ide ai could find a cute sweet easter dress, all frilly, and pretty, fluffy, little girl-like and possibly buy that, as an alternate dress for this doll to wear.

i didnt find ANYTHING!

so, i came home and decided to look for a dress online, theres no shortage.

snagged this pattern online based on the upper corner image of the baby dress.

found this one on ETSY.com for...10.00 i may be buying this one.

THIS pattern...65.00!!!! but, does have the entire ensemble for making a dress. im no seamstress, im gonna leave that up to anyone else to do for me, lol

i also have to concentrate on socks, blue, and simple, and shoes.
shes wearing sandles in the picture, but i wanted to try to get some older hard shoes like this:

the today version of her sandals.

MICHELLE

BOUGHT MOST OF THE STUFF TO COMPLETE TIBBY

so, i finally was able to purchase the rest of , or MOST of , the rest of the things i need to attempt to complete my TIBBY before my mothers birthday, on may1.

not gonna lie, ive been a bit of a slacker when it has come to working on her, simply because im deadling with the anniversary of my mothers death...its never an easy time.

i did, manage one night, late (and by late i mean early morning ..like 3 am or so) to paint 2 layers of baby flesh on to the kit. its progress, not allot, but its something.

perhaps knowing, or at least recieving the majority of the rest of the stuff, will help me work through this kit.

i feel its almost pointless to work her, and then have no where to go to complete her. so im hoping knowing i have allot of the rest of the stuff, can halp me finish her on time.

MICHELLE

TIBBY KIT IS OFFIALLY STARTED TODAY

so, today is the day i had preset and scheduled myself to start to really dive into my TIBBY kit..to hopefully get her done by may 1, 2012, as an honor and memorial custom of my mother as a toddler.

and, im gonna be honest, im not really enthused about doing this. because...well, each hour, draws me closer to the anniversary of my mothers death. this year will be...10 years.

i try very hard to not allow myself to  think about it, to dwell upon it. but its like a white elephant in my personal emotional room. i cant sit there and NOT know it exists.

my mother wasnt the easiest person to get along with.
she was quite difficult.
im not sure why, but i felt she never really liked me...my best guess is i was the offspring of the man she loved and left her, and i was the constant reminder of the hurt he left her with.

i wont go into details, but my life was quite a challenge with her as my mother.
it wasnt typical, but then whos childhood ever really is?
if you can honestly say you had one...then be thankful! because you dont have the demons and memories the rest of us have to endure and walk through for the rest of our lives.

now, knowing that life was so very difficult, and knowing how i felt during it, makes ppl wonder WHY i say i loved this woman so much.

simple answer:
she was the ONLY parent i had.
as bad as it was, she was ALL i knew.
sure it was bad, but i was terrified as a child to be left alone and have even less.
so, think of it like the abused wife syndrom (if you must) and wonder why i never left, if i had the opportunity..because that world was the only one i knew how to survive in.

i love my mother. im not gonna lie. i really do love her.
do i LIKE her? NO!
she was never the motherly type. she didnt cuddle, and hug me if things were bad in MY life..
she was a psychologist, and  did games on me mentaly..and thought i should know how to handle everything, becaus ei had the power within me to make all of everything better for myself, all i had to do was choose to do it.

easy to say, difficult to do when no one shows you HOW to get to that place.t, even tho i was thrust into that place way before i should have been .

 when i was a child, i thought like a child, reacted like a child, i didnt see anything adult.

for as lacking as she was as a parent type, she was an excellent mind/behavioral instructor.
i learnd TONS from her. and i didnt ask too, it kind of just "happened" as a result of her manipulations, and phychological mind games shed play on me.

i now have the unique ability to be able to read ppl, and understand why they do most of what they do, i can tell a lier from a truh teller just by sonme simple actions they do...
she also taught me how to be a strong person.
thats been a blessing.

she never made me cookies, and had them and a glass of milk waiting for me after school...no, no, my lessons were of a more mental nature and would suit me greater as i would eventually have to forge my way through life without her, in the future.

my greatest fear came to a crashing reality on april 9th 2002.
after 5 weeks in the hospital, and refusing to keep taking blood transfusions, she slipped away, in her sleep.

and my world was changed forever.

its been so very hard to be without her.
altho, the pain has never left, it has become something im familiar with.
and this week, is the anniversay week of everything i can remember on that last week with her.

so, my desire to work this tibby kit, has been a long and hard walk. my motivation is just not there.
but im committed, as hard as the emotional place is to revisit...i am continuing on my quest to attempt to have this kit finished and ready on may 1st, my moms birthday. shed be 77 this one.

this kit is vastly different than the 1st one (this is my 2nd). on so many levels.
this is a toddler, Daniel was an infant.
This is a challenge emotionally, Daniel was a joy to produce.
i had everything for daniels kit in one lump, this kits being done in stages.

so the things ive done to TIBBY thus far have been few..
veined, and baked.

thats about all...

but ill continue,
no matter how difficult this is emotionally, i want her done by may 1...so ill have to just work through it. weather i like to or not. allot like grief, you have to walk through it to get over it.

MICHELLE